I want to talk with you
about
missing code

developmental trauma
where some aspects
of our being
of who we are
of our infinite
possibility

is non-responded-to
not-related-with

or even
met-with-hostility
by those around us

it will shrink
and live out
its disconnected life
in hiding

get abused
by others
if we let it out

belonging
is
essential
in
growing
our internal
code

what of me
can I bring
into relationship?

the rest
gets left
behind

but
it
is
not
gone
not dead

infinite possibility
stays infinite
as in
“brain plasticity”

there are
methods
for writing new code
and living into it
bringing that newness
into contact
with others

the gaps
are full
of shame

the gaps are
where we
disintegrate

fall into an
abyss
where our feet
are not felt
where our self
scatters like dandelion seeds

but our code
our narrative
our story that we identify with
is our own
creation

so we have the
power
to author something
new
something that can
begin
to bridge
the abyss

build new tissue
as we ground
the new story
in new behavior
new practices
repeated actions

and bring this newness
into
contact
with trustworthy
others

thus
rewriting our story
rewiring our brain

making what was once
a certain flaw
into
just another
normal aspect
of our self

I am here

© Maja Bengtson 2017